Currently Listening The Long Road By Nickelback see related

its been awhile since i've wrote in here and i relly need to vent sum stuff.  during spring break i was in accident and hit my head on concrete and almost died! not fun! and my mom finally knos that i smoke and begged me to quit so i said i would but at the wired about 3 wks ago i smoked like half a pack b/c i kne it would be the last time i would b able to smoke...until yesterday that is...and today. oops! haha oh well shit happens. i got fired for embarassing my fag  (literally) manager b/c he didn't kno how to do a coupon. how gay is that?! been there 2 fuckin yrs. and get fired over a coupon. w/e he needs to get butt-fucked.   during spring break steven e-mailed me. and of course he sayz i miss u and wanna see u again. which tasha just gets pissed at me for talking to him again, but she doesn't understand wat i feel for him and wat i went thru and how much stronger i am b/c of him.  so yesterday we were at the library in e*ville looking up info on a english project and she gets on the internet to look for pics and get on myspace.  when i walked over to show her wat books i had found she was writing a message to steven bitching him out for wat he's done to me and shit. and she asked if i wanted to say anything so i asked to add sumthing about when i last saw him b/c i was hurt by wat happened. and i wanted to ask him id he remembered but i was scared to say anything to him about it. its strange i can bitch practially any1 out but when it comes to him....i just can't.  practically all of my friends want me to stay away from him and shit but i've done that...several times i've listened to them instead of my heart. but i think this time i'm going to listen to my heart and not my friends even if it means me hating myself for getting my heart broken again.  steven if ur reading this- plz tell me wat u want me to b in ur life. ur friend? ur gf? ur support? just tell me sumthing...ANYTHING!!!  as u can tell i'm single and wanting to find sumthing to call home cuz home rite now sux. my dad is always drunk now. i hate it cuz i have nowhere to go. i wish i did, i wish i had sum1 to talk to when he's like this. well l8r sk8rs